Music and pain

When I said I was going to start blogging again I wasn't actually planning on three or four posts a day lol, but...
Am sat here with headphones in listening to Katy B's "Crying For No Reason", and it got ne thinking, not something I make a habit of doing cos it makes your head hurt! Lol.
Whenever I hit a low point or if something bothers me I always use music to blow the cobwebs away.
Music has always played a huge part in my life. I used to be a huge music collector and had a huge collection of special editions, picture discs and demo tapes, including my own.
Funny how things change over the years.
Although my priorities changed over the years, music is still a massive part of me.
Some of the lyrics of Katy B's song are very emotive and most people can probably identify with them...
" crying for no reason feel the tears roll down, I felt strong but am I breaking now, crying for no reason cos I buried it deep, I made promises I could not keep"
Most people don't see the real me, I tend to play my cards pretty close to my chest, I had to learn to be like that when I was a teen, or I would get a beating, sometimes its difficult to change habits buried deep. That's where I lose myself in my music...
Thanks Katy B!!
Verse)
I pushed all my problems to the back of my mind
Then they surfaced in my dreams, vague on the light
I sweep all my issues to somewhere I can find
In hope that I’ll forget but there’s just so many times
(Verse)
Why can’t I be strong and just confront all my fears?
When my fear is hurting you I’m being sincere
But how many more days can I run? How many years
Emotions flooding and I was so soon and so clear
(Chorus)
Crying for no reason, feel the tears roll down
I felt strong but am I breaking now?
Crying for no reason ‘cause I buried it deep
I made promises I could not keep
‘Cause I never faced all the pain I caused
Now the pain is hitting me full force
(Verse)
I pushed all my problems to the back of my brain
A darkness deep inside where I just can’t find my way
How can I walk with a smile? Get on with my day
When I deceived myself pretending it’s all okay
(Verse)
I tried my best to hold it all together, I know
The strings have worn away and now I’m all exposed
I try and hide it all away on top of the shelf
I can lie to everyone but not to myself
(Chorus)
Crying for no reason, feel the tears roll down
I felt strong but am I breaking now?
Crying for no reason ‘cause I buried it deep
I made promises I could not keep
‘Cause I never faced all the pain I caused
Now the pain is hitting me full force
(Bridge)
Forgive me now ‘cause I said that I’ll be there for you, care for you
I let you down, I walked away
‘Cause there were things I couldn’t say to you, say to you
I’m breakin now
(x2)
I burned some bridges down
There must be some way out
The voices speak so loud
Will you forgive me now?
(Chorus)
Crying for no reason, feel the tears roll down
I felt strong but am I breaking now?
Crying for no reason ‘cause I buried it deep
I made promises I could not keep
‘Cause I never faced all the pain I caused
Now the pain is hitting me full force


 
Ps: Miss and love you Aunty Jean, lost you a week before the wedding but always in my heart xx